Christian Cell Phones To Offer Proof-Text Messaging

by Durwood Cumbey, July 2005

The longstanding theological debate between Arminianism and Calvinism heated up last month when Sprint announced a new service in their cell phone technology called Proof-Text Messaging. For a small fee, Sprint cell phone customers will now be able to send short, abbreviated Bible verse references to thwart their theological opponents. Currently the most popular proof-text message sent to Arminians is “JON 6:44, U SEMI-P DOG,” while Calvinists are receiving the classic, “FYI TULIP-HEAD, JON 3:16.”

Betty Johnson, spokesperson for Sprint, says that their new “Friends and Heretics” phone plan is just another way the company is striving to reach the rising Christian market. “Here at Sprint we realize that rebuking others with God’s word shouldn’t suffer in this face-paced society. From now on, preachers with cell phones should anticipate lightning-fast biblical correction from their congregation immediately after every sermon.”

Mike Gavin, a seminary student and staunch Calvinist, is thrilled with the new technology. “Between my class studies and my job at Subway, I have very little time to slam my ‘Free Will’ buds. But now I can just send ‘PREDESTIN8 THIS! EPH 1:11,’ and watch the dust fly.” Adds Gavin, “BTW, if Luther had this technology back in 1524, he would have spammed that Erasmus dude big time. ROTFLOL!”

(HT: The Sacred Sandwich)

[Note bene: Glad to see there are some baptists out there that can poke fun of themselves.  This site is almost as funny as Lark News.]